Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Waiting sickness

I got out, said Fraser.
Wire journalists die early. They all do. They retire and die a couple of years later. I know two who I will name for you now. There you go.
Fraser was hugely charismatic and would have been my choice if I was on the panel.
But he didn't want a full time job.

Gary was big and Welsh and probably played rugby on Sundays before singing.
He was aloof, but lightened up.
He was well prepared.
He was older.
I think it went well he said.
You've been in there and awful long time we said.
I talk a lot.

I'm being made redundant from the Telegraph in eleven days said Rupert who was extremely nice and extremely softly spoken.
I've worked at the Argus too but I hated it. I shouldn't have left the Telegraph the first time. They have antlers on the wall in the Telegraph office, do you know?

I was last into the interview.
I was too nervous and I've been thinking of all the things I should have said since.
I should have practised more.
If I get it it will be because they know me.
I know I can do it. And I know I'm amongst the best options for them. I just don't think I deserved it on the day. And the longer the wait the more I am convinced of it.

If I got it it would change my life.
I can't stand the wait.
I can't write and I can't think.
I feel sick.

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